Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight

Here. In Finland. In the dark. Without snow. In the middle of this.. nothing. It's X -mas anyway, so merry christmas to all you freaks and wrecks somewhere there.

For some reason, I don't have any kind of X -mas feeling this year. Actually, the reason for celebrate some guy who died over 2000 years ago is funny. Stupid tradition. Of course I like the time of love and light and peace, it's like the whole world would stop its rush for a while. Or then it's just thought in my head, which media has grown there. Is it really that easy to fool nations to stop wars for a day?

This christmas is quite sad. I don't know why, I feel lonely. I haven't met my friends for two days.. no, on summer holiday I could be a week without seeing anyone. Maybe it's the format. Christmas should be the celebration of love and everyone's supposed to be happy. And 'cause I'm not, it makes me feel even more shit. Just this place makes me nuts. " I can't be happy here, I gotta get out " has been playing in my head last months.. or years. I've never been so happy here. Of course it's safe and peaceful to live in small town but does that make anyone happy? The society in Finland makes all people living safely anf peacefully, so it's nothing to admire or dream about. It's like the order.
I don't want to live like that. Now I'm locked to this place and this society, to Finland. I don't want to be locked to this system, 'cause it doesn't make me happy. I want to live. Now I'm in cage, actually we all are, but some people just can't see the bars or walls around us. Their way to look this world is too narrow. So, the cage of the society and this place is just fine for them. They think it's safe, it's alright.
But me.. it makes me feel anguished, stressed, crazy. Locked. Not happy. I need to go my own way, do the things as I want, (even against others), I need to break the chains and get out of here. 'cause otherwise I'll go crazy. I'll die. I need to live in danger t understand what means to be safe. That's the deal. But then I'm happy. I know it.
So if christmas is time of happines, is it time of danger, adventure, going crazy? Doing mad things, sleeping days and running out at night? Is the Christmas the time of life? Could it be?

Don't mind my sadness, with the photos I want to wish a very nice and great and lovely and good X -mas for everyone, with light and love in your life and peaceful time with no fighting and.. what the fuck I'm writing like an old hippie?

Happy sexmas for you suckers and crappy New Year!!